After a wonderful evening with some old school friends and the usual thrilling bus ride back home to Oxford I began ruminating on how one can tell that you have been living in Blighty for too long away from SA

So here goes – the top ten reasons you know youve been living in England for too long (in no specific order)

1. You have to remind yourself its a ‘braai’ and not a ‘barbeque’
2. You also naturally refer to it as a jumper rather than a jersey
3. For English South Africans your knowledge of Afrikaans has a half life of a day – For Afrikaans South Africans you have used the words ‘Cracking’, ‘Mate’ and ‘Curry’ in a sentence and no longer care about it
4. You know which one is Ant and which one is Dec
5. When you are back home in SA you now miss Jaffa cakes
6. You’ve finally realised that compared to a semi-decent average English Ale a Castle actually tastes ****
7. You’ve also realised that Stella Artois is NOT a premium foreign beer (that one took me about a week or two after I arrived to clock that one)
8. Out of sheer boredom youve actually read a full report to do with the English national football team – and what’s worse is that you have actually understood all the issues and have remained interested
9. You have no idea who Julius Malema is and why he is a complete *****
10. Roll up your sleeves and compare your skin colour to this – nuff said