Top 10 reasons you know youve been living in England too long

After a wonderful evening with some old school friends and the usual thrilling bus ride back home to Oxford I began ruminating on how one can tell that you have been living in Blighty for too long away from SA

So here goes – the top ten reasons you know youve been living in England for too long (in no specific order)

1. You have to remind yourself its a ‘braai’ and not a ‘barbeque’
2. You also naturally refer to it as a jumper rather than a jersey
3. For English South Africans your knowledge of Afrikaans has a half life of a day – For Afrikaans South Africans you have used the words ‘Cracking’, ‘Mate’ and ‘Curry’ in a sentence and no longer care about it
4. You know which one is Ant and which one is Dec
5. When you are back home in SA you now miss Jaffa cakes
6. You’ve finally realised that compared to a semi-decent average English Ale a Castle actually tastes ****
7. You’ve also realised that Stella Artois is NOT a premium foreign beer (that one took me about a week or two after I arrived to clock that one)
8. Out of sheer boredom youve actually read a full report to do with the English national football team – and what’s worse is that you have actually understood all the issues and have remained interested
9. You have no idea who Julius Malema is and why he is a complete *****
10. Roll up your sleeves and compare your skin colour to this – nuff said

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Sixth sense computing device

Have you ever watched something which has blown you away with how completely simple yet cutting edge it is?  Watch the embedded video clip.  It may be extremely geeky but if you think carefully about what they are demoing you may realise this could radically change the way we do things.

Pattie Maes: Unveiling game-changing wearable tech

So how could this be used? I think with solid voice recognition software this could be the first truly digital ‘assistant’.  It also fits in with how devices are changing – eventually we will no longer see the device itself – just its output when we need it.

This is one man who should make an absolute fortune … not that daft Marc Zucchini in charge of Facebook.

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I have hayfever – give me marks

BBC NEWS | Education | Extra marks for exam day ‘stress’

Exam day stress?

I can understand that the amount which is given in cases of hayfever is only 1% of the mark but I still think its ludicrous.  For decades people have written exams whilst either ill or under the influence of hayfever without even thinking of asking for extra marks because ‘their nose is sniffling’.  What kind of namby pamby pupils are we producing?

Yes in cases of bereavement I can understand – but still this is a teensy bit wrong.

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Ofsted Report on ICT in schools

The following may be a bit dry for some – I do apologise. It’s basically my own summary of the key points contained within a recent report released by Ofsted on the state of ICT education in schools. Ive summarised my points into three key sections.

Secondary School ICT

Management of ICT department

· Provide full statutory National Curriculum requirement

· Make sure that teacher’s subject knowledge and training needs are fully audited

o Provide continued support to ensure that their skills remain relevant

· Make sure that National Guidance on ICT is embedded within the department

· Plan for the long term skills of pupils (what they will need when they leave school)

· Provide demonstration lessons within the department and also to the wider school

· Achievement of girls in the subject is essential

· VLE is essential for providing structure in the department

· A portfolio of assessed work is established with examples of ICT work at different levels

· A range of qualifications must be in place to support students of different abilities

 

Management of ICT across school

· ICT must not be taught in isolation but should be embedded in other subjects

· Assessment of ICT progress must be school wide

o School should be assessing progress in ICT in other subject (assessment led by individual department areas rather than reliant on ICT)

· Provide full statutory National Curriculum requirement

· Evaluate impact of ICT resources on learning

· Ensure teaching assistants are also fully trained in ICT

· Include internet safety teaching at regular points – not once a year

· IEP’s should include ICT targets as well

· Ensure Local Authority support for ICT where appropriate is used to its fullest extent

· Make sure that National Guidance on ICT is embedded across the school

· Provide adequate resources for teachers

o Laptops

· Provide adequate access to resources for students

o Use of computers whenever required

o Use of handheld devices

o Alternative office suites and operating systems

· Audit which students have access to ICT at home

o Develop a strategy (possible with LA assistance) to support those students

· Plan for the long term skills of pupils (what they will need when they leave school)

· Evaluate as often as possible the implementation and impact of ICT

o Detailed development plans should be written by all subject areas on their own ICT implementation

o Targets should be set which are fully costed

Teaching and learning in the classroom

· Provide exposure to alternative office suites and operating systems

· Ensure assessment is front and centre within the department

o Establish attainment of pupils on entry into secondary school

o Continue to track progress

· Provide full spreadsheet and database instruction

· A VLE is essential for providing detailed information for students on all aspects of the subject

· Effective teaching and learning

o Planning is meticulous with assessment used precisely to inform tasks and the next stages of learning.

o Make sure learning objectives are explicit

o Teaching motivates pupils and uses engaging and relevant contexts

o Teachers ask challenging questions to assess pupils’ understanding and to build on their knowledge

o The lesson itself must remain at a good pace

o Teachers provided regular feedback to pupils on how well they were doing.

o Pupils are given the opportunity to collaborate and critically review their own work and that of others; as a result, they were able to demonstrate ICT capability at a higher level.

o Good use is made of teacher assessment to track pupils’ progress and achievement and pupils knew the areas they needed to improve.

o Transitions between activities were managed well

o The teacher must have excellent subject knowledge

o The teacher must have high expectations of students

o Explanations were clear and accurate

o Students were engaged, challenged and required to review, evaluate and improve their own work

o Used quick fire question and answer sessions to elicit knowledge and understanding and clear up misunderstandings

o Planned for the needs of individuals and groups of students including Gifted and Talented, boys and girls and SEN students

o Lessons include a variety of tasks which tackled the more challenging aspects of the National Curriculum

o A good plenary session must be used to test pupils’ understanding and achievement of the lesson objectives

A healthy baby – the second scan

On Friday my wife and I went for the second and last scan at the local hospital. I was obviously quite excited about it – one of my pupils even told me to relax! The hospital was the usual sort of NHS hospital (although I’ve never been in any others it seems typical). A number of other mothers and variously nervous or relaxed partners were waiting with them.

After just short of an hour we were taken into the scan room and my wife laid out for her ‘favourite’ bit – the gel! The sonographer squirted large lumpy ropes of this clear stuff on her tummy which was clearly as cold as can be! Our baby came up on the tv soon after that and despite how much I had tried to prepare myself for it it still took me back a bit. I knew from the books I have been reading that the baby is essentially fully formed by now – its just a question of growing from now on – but to see all that beautiful intricate detail was extraordinary and I have to say quite emotional.

It was quite weird in a sense how much you could see – I think I was slightly freaked out when at one point the sonar ‘beam’ showed the eye sockets of the baby’s skull. You could pretty much see everything – in fact the sonographer was even measuring structures inside the baby’s brain! She had started at the top of the baby and was moving through its body like a cross section pausing every so now and then to measure something vital.

Now as for that crucial bit of detail – we still don’t know!. She had warned us when we were getting down to the waist area and so we both shut our eyes.  I really didnt want to know and my wife doesnt mind but she decided if she knew she wouldnt be able to keep it from me so she shut her eyes as well.

But still what a moment – being able to see the baby’s heart pumping was something else.  Its hard to put into words what its like seeing so much of a child I provided at least something towards as all I was feeling was just incredibly excited at seeing something we would be looking after so soon.  I was particularly impressed to see the baby hiccuping as well!

I am really looking forward to meeting my child now – my wife had a dream the other night that she took the baby out to have a look at it and then put it back inside.  I can understand what she is feeling – these three and a half months are going to be exciting (and a little terrifying!)

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